To reiterate...

This is a reiteration to myself, of my hopes and dreams and goals, why I am doing this, why its important to me to stay on track, no matter the circumstances of life getting in the way. I can't and won't use that as an excuse to stop me, or prevent me from getting the workout done. Life will always be there, that's not going to change. What needs to change is me, and my thought processes, and ...something. I have done this roller-coaster before a million times; I'm pretty much to the point in my life where I know what works and what doesn't. I know that being on a reduced carb/high protein diet works for me. I also know that a single "cheat" a week doesn't set me back. I also know that if I don't have my plan in place, I will fail. Something unexpected will come up, and due to my lack of foresight and planning, I will be reduced to fast food for dinner, and that's what gets me. Doing that several days in a row. So, I know I need to work on that; more leftovers to easily reheat, or more "simple, easy" meals - something that's fast on days like that, where I have 30 minutes between the time I get off work, feed the kids, and get them across town to basketball practice, or the same thing, 30 mins between the time I get off work, and have to meet up with my husband for dinner, where I'm bringing him his food. Those times are too easy for me to fall back on fast food, but I can't fall back on that several times a week; its counterproductive to my goals.

I don't necessarily have a set "weight" goal, per se; I'm shooting for about 145-150, but I'm more interested in fat loss, and looks; I want to look like an athlete. I don't care if I weight 170 lbs if I look like Laila Ali. I want a nice, firm, muscular, strong body, a body that gets me through the hard days at my physical job, but allows me to come home and do the things at home that are required of me; whether its cleaning, cooking, working out, or being with the kids; I don't want to come home and crash out on the couch because I am too wore out from working that day; too wore out to cook so I stick to fast food or reheated chicken strips and mac and cheese. I want to be strong and fit, so that work doesn't take up all of my life. I want to feel like I can do something outside of work, not feel like I'm spending my time outside of work recuperating from the job.

So, yeah, I want to look like an athlete; I understand. That means I have to train like an athlete. And I'm willing to work up to that. I recognize I can't do that starting off, and I can't get frustrated with myself for what I can and can't do. I can only improve, at this point, as long as I keep at it. And I need to remind myself on those days when I come home from a hard long very stressful day and just want to crash, I have things to do, and a life to live, and that's not going to get done while I just sit there, too tired to move.