  |   |
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Kathryn's Cheer Game
Kathryn's second football game was last night; it was Whitehouse against Kilgore, who are apparently their rivals, and I think it was also the first game to count towards district or whatever. So it was JAMM PACKED, and loud. I think we discovered, last Saturday at the Cheer clinic, that Kathryn didn't have what it takes to be a cheerleader; she doesn't like to be loud, or goofy, and she doesn't like to be around alot of loudness (....see if you can find the picture of her holding her ears). But at least we know, now, what to focus on for her !! She will have another Drill Team clinic in November, so look for pics of that !! These girls were also so jamm packed on the track, she didn't have much room for moving around and cheering, not that she was overly excited about it. I didn't get any video, but Jon did on the other camera, which is nearly impossible to transfer to the computer, so here are some pics !!
Friday, September 28, 2007
WOOOHOOOO!
I got a massage for my birthday!! And its not even my birthday yet!! Thank you Sharon, I love you!! This was exactly what I needed.
(And James, thank you, but I still hate you ;)-
(And James, thank you, but I still hate you ;)-
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
First Soccer Game
Here are pics from the kids' first soccer game on Saturday; bright and early! They don't "keep score", but the kids know, and they did really good! Jonathan may have a future as goalie! Kathryn didn't get enough action in that spot to tell yet ;).
 | |
Friday, September 14, 2007
My Day
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
No, I don't especially feel better, but better let it out than hold it in and end up killing someone.
No, I don't especially feel better, but better let it out than hold it in and end up killing someone.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I'm back...
I know I've been away for quite a while. Things have been so hectic around here, and I hate that feeling. That feeling that I'm coasting through life, you know, letting life direct me instead of the other way around. I'm anxious to get back into the swing of things; I'm missing working out, I miss yoga, I miss weights, and I'm trying to get back into, I'm just having a hard time getting grounded, I'm letting things sway me off track. Yesterday was a no go, though I really wanted it. I'm going to plan on again today starting something, anything, just so long as I"m doing something and its on my terms, you know? Like I said, things have been a bit hectic around here. We've moved into a new house, which I think I've already told you guys about; do you remember about 6 months ago, on the previous forum, how that was my goal/dream for this year? That and to be out of debt, lol. Well, I got my house, and I remember how hard it was for me not to doubt, to trust, but I kept telling myself that if I believed it would go through, it would. And there were times, at least twice, when it looked like we weren't going to get it, but it happened, and I can't tell you how safe, I guess, I feel, being in my own home. Not having to worry about next year, where are we going to live, ever again. I'm home. I also started a new job; its part of the epiphany I had a few months ago; I was so tired of my current job, and I was totally unhappy, and I was envious of those people who enjoyed their work. I spent alot of time, at least the past 10 years, lol, trying to figure out what would make me happy? What kind of job could I do that I would enjoy doing? Well, I sort of remembered, which is a weird thing to say, I know, but I must have just been blocking it, or decided a while ago it wasn't going to happen, so I didn't let that thought enter my mind again, but when I was a girl I always wanted to be a vet. So I decided to try for a vet tech now, since I'm not exactly able to go to school to be a vet. I have a job at a vet clinic here in town, about 4 minutes from my new house, and I'm being trained to be a vet tech. And I really do love it. The only thing I don't love about it is the fact that I took a cut of about half in my pay, so I'm still having to work part time as a transcriptionist, hence my lack of time for me 
. I know, no more excuses.
I'm feeling very lonely lately, like I don't have any friends. It seems like the friends that I have are absent, and maybe that's my doing, I don't know, but I'm really looking for support, and I'm not finding any.
I was at soccer practice with my kids yesterday, and there was a lady there that we seem to run into all over the place; her husband and my husband work together, she has 3 kids, and the 2 youngest are the same ages as my 2, a boy and a girl, so I thought I would give her my number so maybe we could hang out sometime. She was playing soccer with her kids, and playing volleyball with some girl she didn't even know. This lady is 40, and she had more interest and energy in stuff like that than I do, and I am envious of that. I hope to be able to show interest and vitality at that age, but I don't even have that now, lol. My birthday is less than a month away, she's at least 10 years older than me, and I am envious of her energy.
I love all you guys, hopefully I'm still welcome here
and hopefully you can all help me appropriately kick my butt into gear for what I want the most, to be a happy, healthy, active mom. Not to mention a hottie. .
. I know, no more excuses. I'm feeling very lonely lately, like I don't have any friends. It seems like the friends that I have are absent, and maybe that's my doing, I don't know, but I'm really looking for support, and I'm not finding any.
I was at soccer practice with my kids yesterday, and there was a lady there that we seem to run into all over the place; her husband and my husband work together, she has 3 kids, and the 2 youngest are the same ages as my 2, a boy and a girl, so I thought I would give her my number so maybe we could hang out sometime. She was playing soccer with her kids, and playing volleyball with some girl she didn't even know. This lady is 40, and she had more interest and energy in stuff like that than I do, and I am envious of that. I hope to be able to show interest and vitality at that age, but I don't even have that now, lol. My birthday is less than a month away, she's at least 10 years older than me, and I am envious of her energy.
I love all you guys, hopefully I'm still welcome here
and hopefully you can all help me appropriately kick my butt into gear for what I want the most, to be a happy, healthy, active mom. Not to mention a hottie. .
Sunday, September 9, 2007
What is it?
Current mood: confused
What is love? What is it, exactly? Can it be explained? I'm not sure I could explain it. I can't explain how I feel, not just in love, but in many things; just feelings in general are hard for me to get out, to vocalize. Can you love someone you don't trust? I don't think so, but what do you call it when you "love" someone that you don't trust? Well, obviously you trust them a little bit, or you wouldn't still be there, but what is that? How do you know what you have isn't just "comfortableness" with someone? Is love really supposed to last forever? Are we all really meant to be with just one person forever and ever?
What about friendship? What defines a friendship? I know there are different "levels" of friendship, you can have a lot of friends, but not necessarily the same type of relationship with each one, but it works, right? And when it quits working, what, you just no longer have a friendship? Friendship is hard, I think. But, I think its harder to get started than to maintain. Unless the people are just completely changed from who they were when you were friends. And that will either draw you together or tear you apart. But, there's something going on, people aren't interested in making friends, you ever notice that? People are withdrawn, and friendly on the surface, but not really interested in learning more. Its like, once you reach a particular stage in your life, that's it, your done, not interested in making more friends. Why? Why would you be that way? Obviously, you'd have to have something in common, right? Age, social situation, kids, and most especially kids ages and male/female factors. Its common to make friends with someone because our kids are in the same class, or have dance together, they do something together, and they make friends, so you pretty much have to make friends. You have "playdates" outside of the social situation in which you were thrown together, and you get to know the other person, and the kids have a really good time, but then when school is over and out, or the thing that they have together is over, its like they fall off the face of the planet. Not interested in maintaining that friendship. Only interested in the first place because of their kid, because their kid expressed an interest in someone, and since they were going to see each other every day or once a week anyway, might as well let it happen, right? So what happens to make it not work pursuing anymore?
Friendship is a hard thing to build, in my mind. Its like, you have to be careful in the beginning, not to show too much of anything....not too much excitement, not too much negativity or definitely not too many problems or stress factors going on. You can't really be yourself, or I feel like I can't be. You have to have small talk, and let it build for a while; god help you if you overshare too soon... that's the best way to run someone off. For some reason. I don't know why. I feel like I could be a pretty good listener, even if I don't know you very well. I"m not saying I want a complete stranger to come up and tell me their life story, I hate that, especially when I'm like working at a check out counter, and that person is determined that I know everything there is to know about them before that transaction is completed. No, I don't mean that. I mean, someone you work with on a regular basis; if they have a "crisis" or something going on in their life, if they have good news or even bad news, why can't we share that? Because we're not friends? How do you know we couldn't be? Why the lack of interest from the get-go?
Do you ever feel drawn to someone? No particular reason, you just meet someone; say, at a birthday party for a kid in your kid's class. They are another mom and dad there with their kids. And you talk, just for a little while, but you realize in that setting, you wouldn't mind getting to know this person just a little bit more. Your "drawn" to them, I guess, I don't want to say attracted to them, but that's basically it. Why do you have those feelings about people you don't really know? Is it some sort of recognition of the soul that our brain doesn't understand? Did we know that soul before, and we recognize them spiritually, and try to reconnect? Is that just a "me" thing, no one else does that? I don't understand why things have to be so difficult, you know; why can't we just be ourselves from the beginning, and just leave it at that? I'm not a "social butterfly" by any means whatsoever, but I don't think I'm such a bad person. Not really. I can be negative, but who can't? I'm mostly quiet around people I don't know, at the same time wondering why they are so indrawn. I don't try to snub people, its just awkward sometimes. That doesn't mean I'm not interested, it mostly means I'm not sure how to act around people, because that's such a touchy thing. You only get to make the one impression, then after that, its done. They will never really forget the first thing they thought about you. and I don't really know what kind of impression I make. It must be bad
What is love? What is it, exactly? Can it be explained? I'm not sure I could explain it. I can't explain how I feel, not just in love, but in many things; just feelings in general are hard for me to get out, to vocalize. Can you love someone you don't trust? I don't think so, but what do you call it when you "love" someone that you don't trust? Well, obviously you trust them a little bit, or you wouldn't still be there, but what is that? How do you know what you have isn't just "comfortableness" with someone? Is love really supposed to last forever? Are we all really meant to be with just one person forever and ever?
What about friendship? What defines a friendship? I know there are different "levels" of friendship, you can have a lot of friends, but not necessarily the same type of relationship with each one, but it works, right? And when it quits working, what, you just no longer have a friendship? Friendship is hard, I think. But, I think its harder to get started than to maintain. Unless the people are just completely changed from who they were when you were friends. And that will either draw you together or tear you apart. But, there's something going on, people aren't interested in making friends, you ever notice that? People are withdrawn, and friendly on the surface, but not really interested in learning more. Its like, once you reach a particular stage in your life, that's it, your done, not interested in making more friends. Why? Why would you be that way? Obviously, you'd have to have something in common, right? Age, social situation, kids, and most especially kids ages and male/female factors. Its common to make friends with someone because our kids are in the same class, or have dance together, they do something together, and they make friends, so you pretty much have to make friends. You have "playdates" outside of the social situation in which you were thrown together, and you get to know the other person, and the kids have a really good time, but then when school is over and out, or the thing that they have together is over, its like they fall off the face of the planet. Not interested in maintaining that friendship. Only interested in the first place because of their kid, because their kid expressed an interest in someone, and since they were going to see each other every day or once a week anyway, might as well let it happen, right? So what happens to make it not work pursuing anymore?
Friendship is a hard thing to build, in my mind. Its like, you have to be careful in the beginning, not to show too much of anything....not too much excitement, not too much negativity or definitely not too many problems or stress factors going on. You can't really be yourself, or I feel like I can't be. You have to have small talk, and let it build for a while; god help you if you overshare too soon... that's the best way to run someone off. For some reason. I don't know why. I feel like I could be a pretty good listener, even if I don't know you very well. I"m not saying I want a complete stranger to come up and tell me their life story, I hate that, especially when I'm like working at a check out counter, and that person is determined that I know everything there is to know about them before that transaction is completed. No, I don't mean that. I mean, someone you work with on a regular basis; if they have a "crisis" or something going on in their life, if they have good news or even bad news, why can't we share that? Because we're not friends? How do you know we couldn't be? Why the lack of interest from the get-go?
Do you ever feel drawn to someone? No particular reason, you just meet someone; say, at a birthday party for a kid in your kid's class. They are another mom and dad there with their kids. And you talk, just for a little while, but you realize in that setting, you wouldn't mind getting to know this person just a little bit more. Your "drawn" to them, I guess, I don't want to say attracted to them, but that's basically it. Why do you have those feelings about people you don't really know? Is it some sort of recognition of the soul that our brain doesn't understand? Did we know that soul before, and we recognize them spiritually, and try to reconnect? Is that just a "me" thing, no one else does that? I don't understand why things have to be so difficult, you know; why can't we just be ourselves from the beginning, and just leave it at that? I'm not a "social butterfly" by any means whatsoever, but I don't think I'm such a bad person. Not really. I can be negative, but who can't? I'm mostly quiet around people I don't know, at the same time wondering why they are so indrawn. I don't try to snub people, its just awkward sometimes. That doesn't mean I'm not interested, it mostly means I'm not sure how to act around people, because that's such a touchy thing. You only get to make the one impression, then after that, its done. They will never really forget the first thing they thought about you. and I don't really know what kind of impression I make. It must be bad
Saturday, September 8, 2007
My "Little lady"
Well, as most of you know, lol, because it's all I talked about since school started, Kathryn had her first football game yesterday!She is so stinking cute!(OMG, Corrie is wearing off on me, I can't believe I just said stinking cute! Ok, I get distracted).She got to make her own T-shirt, and she got to keep the pom-poms, and she got to do one of the most freaking coolest things ever for a little 7 year old girl who is into that stuff!! Here are some pics and videos of my "Little Lady"!!
She was out on the field for quite a while; at least 30 minutes.She stood there doing a little pom-pom shaking for a while, then the team ran out, then they did a "routine" to the school song ;).
Kathryn with team
Add to My Profile | More Videos
Kathryn Routine
Add to My Profile | More Videos
Kathryn Walking off field
Add to My Profile | More Videos
She was out on the field for quite a while; at least 30 minutes.She stood there doing a little pom-pom shaking for a while, then the team ran out, then they did a "routine" to the school song ;).
Kathryn with team
Add to My Profile | More Videos
Kathryn Routine
Add to My Profile | More Videos
Kathryn Walking off field
Add to My Profile | More Videos
Jon's Birthday
Jon got to go to Vegas for his birthday!!! Not really sure what he did there... guess that's part of, don't ask, don't tell, right?!?!
| .. | |
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
No apologies
Current mood: disappointed
So, my whole life I've basically felt like this huge disappointment to everybody and in everything. I try to be what is expected of me. But I'm freaking tired. I'm tired of trying really hard and failing. I'm tired of not even knowing what is expected of me, but still being a failure. I don't know what it is about me that attracts or turns people off of me; I don't know what kind of first impression I give out, but sometimes I truly think there is something wrong with me. I try to be more of a person that I feel is expected of me to be, but that is a failure, too. So, no more. Actually, no more caring on my part. I'm not apologizing for being me. Not anymore. I'm not a freaking mind reader, people. You want something, you tell me!! Don't assume I know what you expect of me! You have a problem with me, you tell me!! Or just back the fuck off. I'm tired of all this passive aggressive shit. I'm tired of assuming something is wrong from the way you act, and assuming what that something is, and then trying to fix it and failing anyway. So, either talk to me, or don't, but I'm not doing anything for you anymore. I'm just me. If you don't like me, you know where the door is.
So, my whole life I've basically felt like this huge disappointment to everybody and in everything. I try to be what is expected of me. But I'm freaking tired. I'm tired of trying really hard and failing. I'm tired of not even knowing what is expected of me, but still being a failure. I don't know what it is about me that attracts or turns people off of me; I don't know what kind of first impression I give out, but sometimes I truly think there is something wrong with me. I try to be more of a person that I feel is expected of me to be, but that is a failure, too. So, no more. Actually, no more caring on my part. I'm not apologizing for being me. Not anymore. I'm not a freaking mind reader, people. You want something, you tell me!! Don't assume I know what you expect of me! You have a problem with me, you tell me!! Or just back the fuck off. I'm tired of all this passive aggressive shit. I'm tired of assuming something is wrong from the way you act, and assuming what that something is, and then trying to fix it and failing anyway. So, either talk to me, or don't, but I'm not doing anything for you anymore. I'm just me. If you don't like me, you know where the door is.
Jonathan's party
Jonathan's party was on Saturday. He was at Chuck E. Cheese's. I swear, why don't we just all go in and let them play? They dont care about pizza, they don't care about cake, and they don't care about some dumb dancing mouse. It embarrased the hell out of Jonathan, he would just rather have played games the whole time. Here's a few pics.
Sara took them to the circus on Sunday....
Sara took them to the circus on Sunday....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
