I'm back...

I know I've been away for quite a while. Things have been so hectic around here, and I hate that feeling. That feeling that I'm coasting through life, you know, letting life direct me instead of the other way around. I'm anxious to get back into the swing of things; I'm missing working out, I miss yoga, I miss weights, and I'm trying to get back into, I'm just having a hard time getting grounded, I'm letting things sway me off track. Yesterday was a no go, though I really wanted it. I'm going to plan on again today starting something, anything, just so long as I"m doing something and its on my terms, you know? Like I said, things have been a bit hectic around here. We've moved into a new house, which I think I've already told you guys about; do you remember about 6 months ago, on the previous forum, how that was my goal/dream for this year? That and to be out of debt, lol. Well, I got my house, and I remember how hard it was for me not to doubt, to trust, but I kept telling myself that if I believed it would go through, it would. And there were times, at least twice, when it looked like we weren't going to get it, but it happened, and I can't tell you how safe, I guess, I feel, being in my own home. Not having to worry about next year, where are we going to live, ever again. I'm home. I also started a new job; its part of the epiphany I had a few months ago; I was so tired of my current job, and I was totally unhappy, and I was envious of those people who enjoyed their work. I spent alot of time, at least the past 10 years, lol, trying to figure out what would make me happy? What kind of job could I do that I would enjoy doing? Well, I sort of remembered, which is a weird thing to say, I know, but I must have just been blocking it, or decided a while ago it wasn't going to happen, so I didn't let that thought enter my mind again, but when I was a girl I always wanted to be a vet. So I decided to try for a vet tech now, since I'm not exactly able to go to school to be a vet. I have a job at a vet clinic here in town, about 4 minutes from my new house, and I'm being trained to be a vet tech. And I really do love it. The only thing I don't love about it is the fact that I took a cut of about half in my pay, so I'm still having to work part time as a transcriptionist, hence my lack of time for me . I know, no more excuses.

I'm feeling very lonely lately, like I don't have any friends. It seems like the friends that I have are absent, and maybe that's my doing, I don't know, but I'm really looking for support, and I'm not finding any.

I was at soccer practice with my kids yesterday, and there was a lady there that we seem to run into all over the place; her husband and my husband work together, she has 3 kids, and the 2 youngest are the same ages as my 2, a boy and a girl, so I thought I would give her my number so maybe we could hang out sometime. She was playing soccer with her kids, and playing volleyball with some girl she didn't even know. This lady is 40, and she had more interest and energy in stuff like that than I do, and I am envious of that. I hope to be able to show interest and vitality at that age, but I don't even have that now, lol. My birthday is less than a month away, she's at least 10 years older than me, and I am envious of her energy.

I love all you guys, hopefully I'm still welcome here and hopefully you can all help me appropriately kick my butt into gear for what I want the most, to be a happy, healthy, active mom. Not to mention a hottie. .