So very frustrated

I feel like I'm going crazy, lol. I need the little smiley face with the eyes rolling around in its head, like its dizzy or something, ha. I can't stick to this, something always comes up; there is stuff in the house I need to get rid of; I'm highly stressed at the moment with trying to buy a house, at the same time my job decided to be low on work (I get paid production, so no work means no pay for me). ARGGG! I feel so hopeless sometimes, and helpless to do anything about it. Everyone here thinks I'm such a strong person, but I don't feel that way. It amazes me sometimes to hear people's opinions of me; they don't think I'm scared of anything, and I'm scared of everything! I'm scared of not getting this house; it will be my fault if we don't because the production pay is hard to prove, and then I'm scared if we DO get the house; OMG, we are struggling right now! And then to add a house payment on top of that! OOHH. And then it seems like, when it rains, it pours. My husband's work hsa been lacking, as well, to the point where we are both out there applying for part time jobs just about anywhere, and of course, no one is calling us back, so that just stresses out more! But could you imagine the stress if one or both of us were to get another job?! LIke I don't get enough sleep as it were.

So sorry for the rant, I have to put it somewhere. I am so frustrated with myself; I do really good for a week, and then the weekend seems to negate that, or its "negative" time, or something, you know, the vacuum where nothing counts?! Ha. and to save money, we are looking at where to cut in our budget; guess which is the most obvious and easiest to cut?! Food. So, yeah, buying healthy has been more expensive for us; it seems like we're going back to live on mac and cheese and ramen noodles for a while. YUCK I HATE THIS! I know the economy is going bad; nearly everyone I know is hurting in some way right now, and ALOT of people here have second jobs to pay for the damn gas and electricity, but JEEZE, can we catch a break SOMEWHERE?!