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Jon's tat
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Thursday, July 19, 2007
So, Jon finally decided to get a tattoo ;). Of course, its huge, and he has to be difficult (love you honey) and get the bamboo, so its taking a REALLY long time to finish, so I was going to wait until it was finished but I can't wait anymore, here are a few pics to show it off ....I'll post again when its finished...
Jon's tat
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Jon's tat
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Monday, July 16, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Shaved the dog...
A few weeks ago, we shaved poor Asher; he was so fluffy, we knew he was hot. Here's the B&A...
We didn't take an official before, we didn't think about it at the time. This one is at Christmas time; he's playing with Shadow (big ol wolf dog).
and here he is, all shaved, and he loved it. He looks totally different...still can't figure out what he is, though...
And just for S&Gs, here are a few puppy pictures; he thought he was a lap dog, lol.
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We didn't take an official before, we didn't think about it at the time. This one is at Christmas time; he's playing with Shadow (big ol wolf dog).
and here he is, all shaved, and he loved it. He looks totally different...still can't figure out what he is, though...
And just for S&Gs, here are a few puppy pictures; he thought he was a lap dog, lol.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Hey baby, what's your sign?
Hey, baby, what's your sign?
OK, I can agree with most of this, but not the "hates to be alone", and not the "beauty and charm" lol.
It would seem like the seventh sign of the zodiac – the Libra – has been taking some pointers from its ruling planet Venus, the ancient goddess of love. Both Venus and Libra are the objects of much affection. In fact, Venus was so beautiful and admired, that many great works of art were inspired by her. A Libra may not garner as much inspiration as an ancient Roman goddess, but a Libra has certainly cultivated a great appreciation for art, as well as for luxury and elegance. To find out more about this graceful sign and its other dominant traits, read on. Plus: Does your marriage need some extra spice?
Libra in a Nutshell
Born: September 23 – October 22
Element: Air – communicative and logical
Quality: Cardinal, the quality that signifies change and movement
Symbol: The Scales
Lucky Day: Friday
Lucky Number: 6 and 9
Special Color: Blue and lavender, the colors of harmony and refinement
Libra Traits: Charming, indecisive, diplomatic, easy-going, vulnerable, idealistic
Nobody will ever accuse a Libra of not being fair. With the Libra symbol of the Scales on your side, you are a seeker of balance, justice and order. You are objective, always able to see both sides of every story, and you are good at handling a crisis. You avoid conflict at all costs, which is why you try to be so peaceful. Striking a harmonic balance in all areas of your life is a continuous goal of yours. But don't think just yet that every Libra should enroll in law school to become a judge, because your ever-present indecisiveness would get in the way of making rulings. Because you are always striving to do what's best and most fair for all parties, you make it difficult for yourself to ever make an actual decision. In part, you are extremely idealistic.
You have an aura of beauty that surrounds you, probably passed on to you by your ruling planet, Venus, the goddess of love, and it begins with your physical looks. Librans are noted to be exceptionally beautiful, and you are probably used to getting a good degree of attention for it. Not only do Libras themselves tend to be pleasing to the eye, but you also indulge in everything that is beautiful. Your good taste and elegance influences your affinity for all things luxurious, and most of your money is spent toward the finer things in life, often with a frivolous abandon.
Being beautiful doesn't hurt your social status either. A hermit you are not, dear Libra. You'll never be the last to be picked on a team, and not necessarily because of your great skills, but because you are just so likeable. You are the poster child for being socially graceful and you have every angle covered: charm, allure, exceptional manners, and elegance.
Relationships
Partnerships with friends and lovers bring out the best in you. You are emotionally driven in all of your relationships and possess the gift of understanding others' feelings and needs. Part of your charm is having a knack for making other people feel important. It's a good thing you are so socially inclined since you despise being alone. One relationship technique native to the Libra sign is giving in during an argument just for the sake of not ruffling any feathers, even when you know you're right. This is where the diplomatic side of you comes in. You are also very empathetic and are more willing to look past a partner's flaws than most.
As an air sign, your best romantic matches are also air signs – Gemini and Aquarius. A true romantic, you are in love with being in love. To you, love represents the beauty and pleasure which you strongly associate with. In a relationship, you want to be admired, and you are neither overly dominant nor overly dependant.
Health
Every zodiac sign has a part of the body which they govern. Libra rules the lower back, called the lumbar region, buttocks and kidneys. Libra women may have a lovely small of the back and curvaceous buttocks and Libra men may have a well-defined back. However, these attractive parts are also susceptible to health problems. You may be cursed with a bad lower back, especially when you overexert yourself. Practice good posture and always wear a back brace when lifting weights or heavy objects. You may also suffer from kidney problems like kidney stones, so avoid heavy drinking. Exercising with a partner or in a group is a good way to maximize your fitness potential.
Career
Any kind of job where you get to channel your creativity and be among a lot of people is the right job for you. You are a great team player but not exactly a great leader because you are too indecisive. You always boost the group morale and serve as the calming influence; you won't partake in gossip in the office either. Your laid-back nature is often mistaken for being lazy, and while you aren't the most ambitious of people, you simply get things done with a little more ease than others. Occupations that a Libra should consider include a lawyer, artist, interior decorator, banker, social worker, beautician, antiques dealer, administrator, mediator, landscaper, and academic counselor.
OK, I can agree with most of this, but not the "hates to be alone", and not the "beauty and charm" lol.
It would seem like the seventh sign of the zodiac – the Libra – has been taking some pointers from its ruling planet Venus, the ancient goddess of love. Both Venus and Libra are the objects of much affection. In fact, Venus was so beautiful and admired, that many great works of art were inspired by her. A Libra may not garner as much inspiration as an ancient Roman goddess, but a Libra has certainly cultivated a great appreciation for art, as well as for luxury and elegance. To find out more about this graceful sign and its other dominant traits, read on. Plus: Does your marriage need some extra spice?
Libra in a Nutshell
Born: September 23 – October 22
Element: Air – communicative and logical
Quality: Cardinal, the quality that signifies change and movement
Symbol: The Scales
Lucky Day: Friday
Lucky Number: 6 and 9
Special Color: Blue and lavender, the colors of harmony and refinement
Libra Traits: Charming, indecisive, diplomatic, easy-going, vulnerable, idealistic
Nobody will ever accuse a Libra of not being fair. With the Libra symbol of the Scales on your side, you are a seeker of balance, justice and order. You are objective, always able to see both sides of every story, and you are good at handling a crisis. You avoid conflict at all costs, which is why you try to be so peaceful. Striking a harmonic balance in all areas of your life is a continuous goal of yours. But don't think just yet that every Libra should enroll in law school to become a judge, because your ever-present indecisiveness would get in the way of making rulings. Because you are always striving to do what's best and most fair for all parties, you make it difficult for yourself to ever make an actual decision. In part, you are extremely idealistic.
You have an aura of beauty that surrounds you, probably passed on to you by your ruling planet, Venus, the goddess of love, and it begins with your physical looks. Librans are noted to be exceptionally beautiful, and you are probably used to getting a good degree of attention for it. Not only do Libras themselves tend to be pleasing to the eye, but you also indulge in everything that is beautiful. Your good taste and elegance influences your affinity for all things luxurious, and most of your money is spent toward the finer things in life, often with a frivolous abandon.
Being beautiful doesn't hurt your social status either. A hermit you are not, dear Libra. You'll never be the last to be picked on a team, and not necessarily because of your great skills, but because you are just so likeable. You are the poster child for being socially graceful and you have every angle covered: charm, allure, exceptional manners, and elegance.
Relationships
Partnerships with friends and lovers bring out the best in you. You are emotionally driven in all of your relationships and possess the gift of understanding others' feelings and needs. Part of your charm is having a knack for making other people feel important. It's a good thing you are so socially inclined since you despise being alone. One relationship technique native to the Libra sign is giving in during an argument just for the sake of not ruffling any feathers, even when you know you're right. This is where the diplomatic side of you comes in. You are also very empathetic and are more willing to look past a partner's flaws than most.
As an air sign, your best romantic matches are also air signs – Gemini and Aquarius. A true romantic, you are in love with being in love. To you, love represents the beauty and pleasure which you strongly associate with. In a relationship, you want to be admired, and you are neither overly dominant nor overly dependant.
Health
Every zodiac sign has a part of the body which they govern. Libra rules the lower back, called the lumbar region, buttocks and kidneys. Libra women may have a lovely small of the back and curvaceous buttocks and Libra men may have a well-defined back. However, these attractive parts are also susceptible to health problems. You may be cursed with a bad lower back, especially when you overexert yourself. Practice good posture and always wear a back brace when lifting weights or heavy objects. You may also suffer from kidney problems like kidney stones, so avoid heavy drinking. Exercising with a partner or in a group is a good way to maximize your fitness potential.
Career
Any kind of job where you get to channel your creativity and be among a lot of people is the right job for you. You are a great team player but not exactly a great leader because you are too indecisive. You always boost the group morale and serve as the calming influence; you won't partake in gossip in the office either. Your laid-back nature is often mistaken for being lazy, and while you aren't the most ambitious of people, you simply get things done with a little more ease than others. Occupations that a Libra should consider include a lawyer, artist, interior decorator, banker, social worker, beautician, antiques dealer, administrator, mediator, landscaper, and academic counselor.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
So very frustrated
I feel like I'm going crazy, lol. I need the little smiley face with the eyes rolling around in its head, like its dizzy or something, ha. I can't stick to this, something always comes up; there is stuff in the house I need to get rid of; I'm highly stressed at the moment with trying to buy a house, at the same time my job decided to be low on work (I get paid production, so no work means no pay for me). ARGGG! I feel so hopeless sometimes, and helpless to do anything about it. Everyone here thinks I'm such a strong person, but I don't feel that way. It amazes me sometimes to hear people's opinions of me; they don't think I'm scared of anything, and I'm scared of everything! I'm scared of not getting this house; it will be my fault if we don't because the production pay is hard to prove, and then I'm scared if we DO get the house; OMG, we are struggling right now! And then to add a house payment on top of that! OOHH. And then it seems like, when it rains, it pours. My husband's work hsa been lacking, as well, to the point where we are both out there applying for part time jobs just about anywhere, and of course, no one is calling us back, so that just stresses out more! But could you imagine the stress if one or both of us were to get another job?! LIke I don't get enough sleep as it were.
So sorry for the rant, I have to put it somewhere. I am so frustrated with myself; I do really good for a week, and then the weekend seems to negate that, or its "negative" time, or something, you know, the vacuum where nothing counts?! Ha. and to save money, we are looking at where to cut in our budget; guess which is the most obvious and easiest to cut?! Food. So, yeah, buying healthy has been more expensive for us; it seems like we're going back to live on mac and cheese and ramen noodles for a while. YUCK I HATE THIS! I know the economy is going bad; nearly everyone I know is hurting in some way right now, and ALOT of people here have second jobs to pay for the damn gas and electricity, but JEEZE, can we catch a break SOMEWHERE?!
So sorry for the rant, I have to put it somewhere. I am so frustrated with myself; I do really good for a week, and then the weekend seems to negate that, or its "negative" time, or something, you know, the vacuum where nothing counts?! Ha. and to save money, we are looking at where to cut in our budget; guess which is the most obvious and easiest to cut?! Food. So, yeah, buying healthy has been more expensive for us; it seems like we're going back to live on mac and cheese and ramen noodles for a while. YUCK I HATE THIS! I know the economy is going bad; nearly everyone I know is hurting in some way right now, and ALOT of people here have second jobs to pay for the damn gas and electricity, but JEEZE, can we catch a break SOMEWHERE?!
Sunday, July 1, 2007
IT's finished!!! (sort of....)
So, I went yesterday and *finally* finished this butterfly on my back with "tribal" (I don't really consider it tribal, but its the general idea). I like the way it looks, and after having it done, of course I see the potential to add on lots more stuff (right, like I *really* need more, huh ;). I could add leaves or flowers, like rose buds or something; and a friend even suggested thorns, which would be way cool, too, so long as they weren't huge, you know. Here's a pic; I've already got my next one picked out, ha ha, but its huge, and its going to have to wait; I think I'm getting even more and more chicken in my old age, ha ha. BUT, I have decided on another one I want, smaller, just for me, ha. A black widow spider, probably somewhere around my ankle/foot area. I saw something somewhere that was talking about it, and I've decided I want that to be my mascot!! "Deadlier than the male" HAHA. Ok, maybe makes no sense to you, but if you knew me, it would ;)
So, here's the "finished" product; let me know what you think!!
So, here's the "finished" product; let me know what you think!!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
June 26
Day 1 down and under my belt. I did good, and I feel good that I did good. I almost gave in first thing in the morning; my kids had donuts, and they looked so good, but I reminded myself why I wanted this; and what I wanted it for was bigger and better than any donut, chocolate bar, or sugary sweet I could have right now. I didn't exercise, but, and I know it sounds like I"m making excuses, but I want to wait until next week, once I get myself over the 7-day hump that is the difficulty of getting into ketosis and staying there. Day 3 is always the hardest for me; I'm focusing on KE at the moment, because that is the fastest for me, and when I get more protein powder, I will be adding that in for a meal.
June 25
OK, I messed up again last week. Back on track now; decided I'm a "slow responder"; in other words, I thought I was ok with the cheating cause I wasn't gaining; so I went on a near month-long bender. Well, it took all this time, but I'm finally up 5 lbs, so yeah, I need to get back on. I wasn't even at goal, I don't know WTH i was thinking that I could just let go like that. THought it wouldn't matter, that's what I was thinking. I haven't been able to force myself to start the exercise yet, but I want to incorporate it slowly, so that I don't burn myself out with it before I reap the benefits. My husband and I have been donating plasma for extra money, and I will be doing that this afternoon, so I technically don't have the time to work out today.
Friday, June 22, 2007
June 22
Ok, I'm back. Hopefully. LOL. I've decided to get back on this horse, no matter what. Even though today is friday, I don't care. I'm starting today, right now, getting back on. I thought I was doing good because I hadn't gained anything; I thought my body could handle it. Guess what?! It all caught back up with me. I'm up to 177 from 171, so I'm back in this. Doing KE to start the ketosis process, then will switch to egg whites (but I crave the fat, so will have 1 yolk to 3 egg whites), and will also add in exercise, but I will probably wait till next week to start the exercising. I need to get my schedule straight; I've been so frustrated with summer, and kids, and we just got a new puppy and I swear they are just like a baby, watching every little thing they put in their mouths, and then the whole potty issue!! Plus, we are in the process of buying a house, and I'm REALLY trying not to stress over that; the biggest thing is, I don't want the deal to "fall through" right at the end; we really really need this to work out, cause if it does fall through, we will basically be homeless until we find something else to rent. *sigh* Think happy thoughts!!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
June 20
I'm having a really really hard time getting back on for some reason. I have been trying to restart all week; every day, something happens and I just let loose; don't even try very hard to stay on. I'm wondering if I should just call it quits, and maybe look for another way to lose the weight, even if its not as fast? I think I should add in exercise for sure, and then just eat "healthy", fruits and veggies and protein. No grains. *sigh* I don't know; I am upset that I fell off so easily, and I am upset that I'm not at goal yet, and I am upset that it is so hard to get back on; and I'm am upset that I gave up when I was stalled out.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
One of the most stressful times of your life
Current mood: stressed
Is buying a house. They say that the 4 most stressful are birth, death, graduation, and marriage. HELLO!! Can we stick in buying a house?!! I don't think I was this stressed when I graduated!! (Both times!!!) OMG, this is the biggest pain in my ass, and can't nobody tell me what to expect; you basically have to be in the middle of it before your hit with all the shit. Well, we've wished and washed back and forth, picked a house, then decided to look around some more, put an offer on another one, which wasn't accepted, so we're back to the original. NOW, if only we can get all this hassle done in 6 weeks!! And we're screwed if it falls through! Send positive vibes my way that this will all work out, and everything will be happily ever after !! (yeah, as cynical as I am, I believe in happy endings...) ;)
Is buying a house. They say that the 4 most stressful are birth, death, graduation, and marriage. HELLO!! Can we stick in buying a house?!! I don't think I was this stressed when I graduated!! (Both times!!!) OMG, this is the biggest pain in my ass, and can't nobody tell me what to expect; you basically have to be in the middle of it before your hit with all the shit. Well, we've wished and washed back and forth, picked a house, then decided to look around some more, put an offer on another one, which wasn't accepted, so we're back to the original. NOW, if only we can get all this hassle done in 6 weeks!! And we're screwed if it falls through! Send positive vibes my way that this will all work out, and everything will be happily ever after !! (yeah, as cynical as I am, I believe in happy endings...) ;)
Monday, June 11, 2007
June 11, 2007
Well, I'm back, not that my absence was noticed. I spent a week in the cheat zone; I couldn't control my cravings, and to try to offset them, I would stuff my face with "good" food, and still have the monster cravings, so I just thought "Fine, I will give into my cravings. I want chocolate, I can have chocolate!! I want ice cream, I can have ice cream! Or salty!! or sour! Or whatever I want" and I did, all week, without gorging myself! I gorged myself on "good" food, and wasn't happy; but I give myself a little piece of what I was craving, and the monster beast was satiated enough to go away, and now I'm back with not a gain to report. I'm looking forward to maintenance, but I'm back on track this week; still haven't started my TOM, but have had a few false starts, so hopefully in the next day or so it will come on and get here so it can hurry up and get gone. I"m wanting to add exercise back in, but I'm feeling a bit of pressure right now from work; there is SOOOO much to do, they are asking everyone to work extra, and I REALLY need to money, we are attempting to buy a house in the next 6 weeks, so cross your fingers for us!! Anyway, I feel like any free time I have has to be spent working, so that's what I'll probably be doing all this time. Instead of exercising.
Monday, June 4, 2007
AMEN!! Take notes!
Current mood: pleased
OK so i copied this from another guy's blog but its really very fitting and appropriate for me and wanted to let everyone know.
Caring for Your Introvert
The habits and needs of a little-understood group
by Jonathan Rauch
o you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?
If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?
If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.
I know. My name is Jonathan, and I am an introvert.
Oh, for years I denied it. After all, I have good social skills. I am not morose or misanthropic. Usually. I am far from shy. I love long conversations that explore intimate thoughts or passionate interests. But at last I have self-identified and come out to my friends and colleagues. In doing so, I have found myself liberated from any number of damaging misconceptions and stereotypes. Now I am here to tell you what you need to know in order to respond sensitively and supportively to your own introverted family members, friends, and colleagues. Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact with every day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts. It pays to learn the warning signs.
What is introversion? In its modern sense, the concept goes back to the 1920s and the psychologist Carl Jung. Today it is a mainstay of personality tests, including the widely used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in social settings; introverts generally are not. Introverts are also not misanthropic, though some of us do go along with Sartre as far as to say "Hell is other people at breakfast." Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring.
Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: "I'm okay, you're okay—in small doses."
How many people are introverts? I performed exhaustive research on this question, in the form of a quick Google search. The answer: About 25 percent. Or: Just under half. Or—my favorite—"a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population."
Are introverts misunderstood? Wildly. That, it appears, is our lot in life. "It is very difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert," write the education experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. (They are also the source of the quotation in the previous paragraph.) Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people. They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping.
Are introverts oppressed? I would have to say so. For one thing, extroverts are overrepresented in politics, a profession in which only the garrulous are really comfortable. Look at George W. Bush. Look at Bill Clinton. They seem to come fully to life only around other people. To think of the few introverts who did rise to the top in politics—Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon—is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exception of Ronald Reagan, whose fabled aloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.
Extroverts therefore dominate public life. This is a pity. If we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, more peaceful sort of place. As Coolidge is supposed to have said, "Don't you know that four fifths of all our troubles in this life would disappear if we would just sit down and keep still?" (He is also supposed to have said, "If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it." The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)
With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In our extrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially. In certain circles, particularly in the Midwest, a man can still sometimes get away with being what they used to call a strong and silent type; introverted women, lacking that alternative, are even more likely than men to be perceived as timid, withdrawn, haughty.
Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours. "Introverts," writes a perceptive fellow named Thomas P. Crouser, in an online review of a recent book called Why Should Extroverts Make All the Money? (I'm not making that up, either), "are driven to distraction by the semi-internal dialogue extroverts tend to conduct. Introverts don't outwardly complain, instead roll their eyes and silently curse the darkness." Just so.
The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books—written, no doubt, by extroverts—regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."
How can I let the introvert in my life know that I support him and respect his choice? First, recognize that it's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation.
Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don't say "What's the matter?" or "Are you all right?"
Third, don't say anything else, either.
OK so i copied this from another guy's blog but its really very fitting and appropriate for me and wanted to let everyone know.
Caring for Your Introvert
The habits and needs of a little-understood group
by Jonathan Rauch
o you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?
If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?
If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.
I know. My name is Jonathan, and I am an introvert.
Oh, for years I denied it. After all, I have good social skills. I am not morose or misanthropic. Usually. I am far from shy. I love long conversations that explore intimate thoughts or passionate interests. But at last I have self-identified and come out to my friends and colleagues. In doing so, I have found myself liberated from any number of damaging misconceptions and stereotypes. Now I am here to tell you what you need to know in order to respond sensitively and supportively to your own introverted family members, friends, and colleagues. Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact with every day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts. It pays to learn the warning signs.
What is introversion? In its modern sense, the concept goes back to the 1920s and the psychologist Carl Jung. Today it is a mainstay of personality tests, including the widely used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in social settings; introverts generally are not. Introverts are also not misanthropic, though some of us do go along with Sartre as far as to say "Hell is other people at breakfast." Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring.
Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: "I'm okay, you're okay—in small doses."
How many people are introverts? I performed exhaustive research on this question, in the form of a quick Google search. The answer: About 25 percent. Or: Just under half. Or—my favorite—"a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population."
Are introverts misunderstood? Wildly. That, it appears, is our lot in life. "It is very difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert," write the education experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. (They are also the source of the quotation in the previous paragraph.) Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people. They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping.
Are introverts oppressed? I would have to say so. For one thing, extroverts are overrepresented in politics, a profession in which only the garrulous are really comfortable. Look at George W. Bush. Look at Bill Clinton. They seem to come fully to life only around other people. To think of the few introverts who did rise to the top in politics—Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon—is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exception of Ronald Reagan, whose fabled aloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.
Extroverts therefore dominate public life. This is a pity. If we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, more peaceful sort of place. As Coolidge is supposed to have said, "Don't you know that four fifths of all our troubles in this life would disappear if we would just sit down and keep still?" (He is also supposed to have said, "If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it." The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)
With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In our extrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially. In certain circles, particularly in the Midwest, a man can still sometimes get away with being what they used to call a strong and silent type; introverted women, lacking that alternative, are even more likely than men to be perceived as timid, withdrawn, haughty.
Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours. "Introverts," writes a perceptive fellow named Thomas P. Crouser, in an online review of a recent book called Why Should Extroverts Make All the Money? (I'm not making that up, either), "are driven to distraction by the semi-internal dialogue extroverts tend to conduct. Introverts don't outwardly complain, instead roll their eyes and silently curse the darkness." Just so.
The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books—written, no doubt, by extroverts—regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."
How can I let the introvert in my life know that I support him and respect his choice? First, recognize that it's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation.
Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don't say "What's the matter?" or "Are you all right?"
Third, don't say anything else, either.
June 4, 2007
I can't believe we are already 10 weeks into this challenge. That means that we've basically been without susie for 10 weeks!! Susie, we miss you, come back!! I have tried keeping in touch with some of the other girls; Nancy is happy on the PFA or whatever it was called; Deb was in the process of life altering events, and wasn't sure where we fit in there, and I still haven't heard back from Amy! I hope everyone is doing well; I think this time around has been the biggest learning experienced for me, in what my body can handle, food wise. I now know how my body reacts to certain foods; what it takes for me to lose weight semi-steadily (it still throws its hissy fits once in a while), and the things that have taught me the most have been the cheats!! I would love to give myself to opportunity to see how far my body can go, exercise wise. I'm almost afraid to jump back into it; I have been out of it for about 2 months, and that is usually when I get my results for weight loss; I'm thinking that if I jump back into it now, I will stall again. I'm only about 25 lbs from goal (which, yeah, right 25 lbs is alot! But when you look at I've lost more than half that, it feels like its just right there!! I've gotten comfortable in my new body; its stalled for a couple of weeks now with the weight loss, but I've come to the conclusion that, besides 3 years ago when I was 168, this weight is the lowest I have been in 8 years!! I can't believe it! I weighed this when I got pregnant with my first child!! Of course, I had gained weight between meeting my husband and that time, and that's what I'm trying to lose now, but I figure, Its been sitting on this frame for 8+ years, it might take a bit longer to let go. And that's ok; I have kids, I have learned patience! 
As long as I prevail! The sad thing is, I'm almost TOO comfortable in my new body; getting a bit lax on the diet; so, will have to do some real soul searching and digging; am I comfortable here for the time being? Do I want to take a break and maybe let it ride for a while, then pick back up and battle the last 20? I really really would love to get it off by September; then I REALLY could do those pictures for my husband. I know I look good now, but I also know that I'm still overweight, and I will look even better when it all comes off! But, this is just so typically me; I never could go all 12 weeks. I always had to break about week 10!
As long as I prevail! The sad thing is, I'm almost TOO comfortable in my new body; getting a bit lax on the diet; so, will have to do some real soul searching and digging; am I comfortable here for the time being? Do I want to take a break and maybe let it ride for a while, then pick back up and battle the last 20? I really really would love to get it off by September; then I REALLY could do those pictures for my husband. I know I look good now, but I also know that I'm still overweight, and I will look even better when it all comes off! But, this is just so typically me; I never could go all 12 weeks. I always had to break about week 10!
June 3, 2007
I cheated this weekend; :( I don't really want to talk about it, just that I lost 2 lbs as of SUnday morning, after pizza saturday night, so explain that to me?!
Friday, June 1, 2007
June 1, 2007
Ok, so apparently my body is happy at this weight; I believe I have been here for about 2 weeks now, and it is NOT about to relinquish any more pounds without a serious fight! And it is throwing cravings at me left and right, bound and determine NOT to drop below this weight!! I am at 171 right now; the lowest I have been in nearly 7 years is 168!! So its like my body doesn't want to drop below that weight! UGH!! Ok, so I am hanging my head in shame here, but I had carbs yesterday! I had fries. OMG, I'm so bad!! I was supposed to kick butt this month, and reach my goal, and 3 days in I give into temptation! I didn't eat ALOT, my stomach doesn't hold that much anymore, and I don't gain after a cheat (Thankfully), but it will stop me from a loss for the next 3 days while I climb back into ketosis. Also, I was unable to give up my coffee like I thought I could. BUT, I have been able to use it as a meal, instead of shakes or EWs, so I MAY be able to use that to my advantage after all; I'm still tweaking my shakes; I mix my chocolate protein powder with coffee, but it's still sort of watery; if I can get my coffee in my shake strong enough, maybe I'll be ok in that area! Plus the coffee helps me go to the bathroom, something I've been missing this week...
*sigh*
*sigh*
Thursday, May 31, 2007
All of a sudden
Don't you just love all these people who finally notice your improvements? I've been stopped today by no less than 3 people, and they are all shocked at my look; its great, because I'm not even "there" yet. But what gets me, is how they phrase it "How did you do it so fast?" Excuse me?? You may not have noticed me when I was 20 lbs down, or even 25 lbs down, but all of a sudden its obvious and it happened overnight?! I don't think so!! I busted my but for those 30 lbs, and it sure as hell didn't happen in 1 night!! LOL, its just amazing at how, they didn't notice at 10, and they didn't notice at 20, but 30, WOO, i'm a totally different person or something! Ok, rant over.
May 31, 2007
Oh, man, I don't know what's wrong with me today! I'm hungry! I had lunch with my kids today since its the last day of school (read, I sat there and watched them eat, cause i had eaten before hand) I seriously didn't know if I could avoid stealing a fry!! Thankfully, they were pigs today and ate it all, otherwise, I might have had some demons to contend with! So I came home and fixed myself a protein shake, since I was still so hungry, but I'm wondering if my TOM is coming up again; there is no other explanation for these monster cravings like this! For some reason, he rears his ugly cravings about 2 weeks before the fact, so I have to contend with his crap literally 3 weeks out of the month. Oh, the joys of being a woman!!
May 31, 2007
Do you know what I hate most about working out? The minute you stop, you pretty much lose all benefits of it. I worked out practically religiously for 6 months, and then about march, spring break, I took a break. I haven't done a work out since then, so what's that, 2 months? OMG, I am so sore from yesterday, I have to flop into all my chairs!! This bites! And I'm really hungry today and yesterday!! Is this from working out? If so, it can wait! I have 31 more days for my goal, and I haven't lost anything. I'm hoping for a whoosh, though; don't they say that when you get "jiggly" your about to lose? My tummy has been really jiggly lately, more so than I remember before. And my legs, very odd...I really hope that when this process is all said and done, its all tightened up as much as possible. I mean, I know the stretch marks are an issue, but I don't want no jelly legs!! Do you think maybe this is something that might prohibit people from reaching their goals? The not knowing where they will end up? I mean, what if your not happy with the end product? At least when you were fat, you weren't all saggy, right? Oh, lord, listen to me. I'm all vain sounding, aren't I!! I don't know; I want to look good, but skinny doesn't always mean healthy, and that's something I need to remind myself of, I suppose...
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